I shall try to explain the metaphorical pink elephant that I see….When I begin looking at you both, I see two half people that are wavering or glitching in and out as I view you both. When I see this, it normally tells me that both of you don’t feel like you belong on this earth plane. It is almost like you are half in this reality, and half in another, and your soul cannot determine which is the right one to be in, so you are basically living in two worlds. Most people who have PTSD, anxiety, depression, or bipolar disease, seem to struggle with what we might consider reality….but is this really real?…but I digress. Seeing someone as a half person, so to speak, tells me that you don’t feel like you can complete yourself without someone else, that you don’t feel like “you” without the other half. Seeing both of you as half people can mean many things, but what I see is that you all have been together in lives past, and now you have found each other again. You two are meant to be, and you probably always have, but in this life, it is much harder than other times. When a soul reincarnates again, especially to find their missing half, they don’t always come into this world whole, and end up with what we classify as “mental problems”. But understand, you can be a complete person without someone else, but life is always better with someone else when it is not a NEED but more of a WANT. When someone walks out of your life, it is normally a sign that you have both have some things to work on that cannot be done when you are together. This happened to me after my first marriage ended abruptly, so I understand your dilemma. But what I found was that I could not move forward in life, to where I am now, without looking deeply at myself. Sometimes the universe needs to move things out of our way, for us to figure out that we have become too dependent on a persons or people in general.
So, when I do a reading, everything is fair game, and everything matters. My experience with tattoos is that they tend to be representations of deep subconscious issues that need to be brought to the surface. And in many cases, speak of past lives, or traumas/hurts in your current life. What I pick up about having tattoos, especially multiple ones, is that you are broadcasting, to the world, all your hurts and pain for everyone to see. Where you wear rings also matters, but I did not see any on your hands, but what I did see was some type of ink on all your fingers. What that tells me is that you are seeking many things, at all levels of consciousness, in search of anything that makes sense of your world. In your mind, you are reaching at anything that helps you create balance, and you have not centralized any theme such as balance or relationships. I also notice that you wrote out ptsd instead of PTSD…. this means to me that you are trying to downplay this problem…of course this is not a conscious act to write it out like that…this is a subconscious action.
Do I think that you two are meant to be? Yes, I do, but I think this is the time that you both need to be able to dig in and figure yourselves out. When my first marriage ended, I went on an intense 9-month journey into myself and discovered some terrible things that I would not have otherwise found. I began to work on those things, and it created a brand new me in the process. You must remember, that if you rely on any person for happiness or completion, you are always going to be sorely disappointed in the end….no one else is responsible for your well being but you. Another person in your life should just be a bonus and not a crutch for your happiness. Basically, I am saying that you should be looking at being happy in your own skin before you try to enrich a relationship with someone. Remember that if you want change, then change must begin with you, and you alone. I know this sounds harsh but remember that life is not about the external world, it is about our own internal world that will eventually affect our external world.
In my experience, a relationship where both parties are struggling mentally, makes for a very hard life. There should always be one of the parties with stability and calmness, otherwise, the chaos never stops. I say that because if you truly want this relationship to work, you must work on yourself to become that stable piece for the both of you. I also feel how empathic you are, and that you cannot ever turn it off. Much of the mental issues that you deal with are empathic in nature, because you simply wear everyone else’s energy, good and bad. In “my” opinion, a high-level empath, that does not have an off switch, is the root cause of anxiety and depression. There is only so much a mind can handle, and eventually it results in a physical reaction for distraction, resulting in such things as anxiety and/or depression. Being an empath or intuitive has its benefits because you know things that others don’t but is has its downfalls when it is uncontrollable, and it overwhelms you. There are no quick fixes, but I can tell you that it is manageable, or at least tolerable with work.
Bottom line here is that you need to work on you before any relationship is going to flourish. You have great gifts and learning to use them will greatly enhance your own healing. Right now, your gifts are controlling you…gotta get that turned around and get a handle on your own journey. Those that come along your journey with you are just frosting on the cake, but we must all learn to love and care for ourselves first, otherwise we cannot help anyone else. I feel very strongly that you want to help others but just don’t know how, however, healing yourself provides that basis to help others. I hope this did not turn into a sermon….but I feel like you needed to hear this….maybe no one has ever said these things to you….but it is about time you took charge of your life and live it for you, so that you CAN help others and foster your relationships in great new ways.